As it has been accentuated before, emotions are not subject to the influence of time. In other words, even if the traumatic event, accompanied by strong emotions, took place 50 years ago for the psyche of this absolutely does not mean anything.
Emotions are not subject to decay, as it happens in the material world. What happened 50, 10, 20 years ago, it continues to be a powerful emotional event likely to affect the history of the individual. Offense or resentful is one of the main feelings, and, in the psychological sense, it has a very strong energy, which is able to condition a person’s life for years to come.
The offense as feeling often is mixed with the anger and helplessness. Anger arises as a reaction to the violation of the psychological boundaries, express that a person cannot open. This happened to a child when the parent is not able to meet the child’s anger, so they often suppressed it. And then the child remains with the feeling of helplessness – “I can not do anything to protect myself!” That gave rise to resentment. It happens that with the time passing the offense have been displaced into the unconscious so that the person does not feel it.
A grown-up person can understand that the feeling of resentful can be considered silly or weakness(which is typical for men). However, that fact that does not change, rather the opposite. Such resentment that remains for the long unconscious can bring even greater destruction.
The less conscious feeling is, the more power it has on a person.
Each of us knows what is emotion because they arise spontaneously and accompany us from birth. But if you ask people a direct question about what it is, and ask them to describe any particular emotion, usually people experience great difficulties.
Even more difficult is the case with feelings. Most people find this a nearly impossible task.They cannot find the right words to describe and name the reason for their occurrence.
Those feelings and experiences that accompany the human senses, almost defy the conventional description.
One of the important reasons for not being able to own one’s feelings is a reduced ability or difficulty in verbalizing emotional states. When we cannot express in words what emotion we are experiencing at the moment!
It has long been noted that the lack of an opportunity to express and reflect on one’s own experiences results in an intensification of the physiological reactions to stressful situations. And on the contrary: when you express everything – it gets easier, you feel better.
In our environment, many people for one reason or another, find it difficult to record and describe their experiences. Among them, there are a lot of those who often do not even suspect their emotional limitations. These include those who are unable to notice the onset of effects in time.
And what can you say about those who are used to noisy or unleashed behavior, not noticing that this is hindering others?
Such obvious problems with the differentiation of emotional states.
A person does not understand the state of another because he is not able to understand himself well, to be aware of the emotions experienced, hence the inadequate attitude towards another person.
It can be argued that is quite mentally normal, but not having the skill of verbalization of emotions, a person is to a certain extent subject to difficulties in the emotional and intellectual sphere.
Almost all of us experience some difficulties when we have to describe our emotional states and inner experiences.
Perhaps the conclusion seems straightforward to you, but it is true: if you find it difficult to express your emotional states and properties, can you understand, convey, explain the conditions of another person in words?
Swiss psychologist E. Claparede back in 1928 called the emotional sphere of the human mind the most confusing and difficult to learn. The most controversial issue in psychology has always been the identification and separation of the concept of emotions and feelings.
Different points of view on the origin and precise definition of emotional phenomena have generated a lot of controversy in psychology about what different feelings form emotions and whether there is between these concepts close relationship.
In order to learn how to control and manage their emotional and sensory areas of life, we need to understand the difference between emotions and feelings.
From the point of view of psychology, emotions are the mental processes that exist in the form of experiences that reflect the personal importance and assessment of external and internal situations in a person’s life.
Emotion has a situational character and expresses the estimated attitude of the current or possible situation in the future, as well as its activities in the situation.
They often occur unconsciously and spontaneously, that is directly related to the biological processes that occur in the human body.
Therefore, most of them belong to the sphere of the unconscious or subconscious behavior.
Unlike emotions, feelings appear more consciously, so associated with conscious action and conscious manifestations. It speaks about the objective and the more specific expression of feelings and their close connection with social issues in human life.
Feelings are expressed through certain emotions, depending on the situation in which an object, thowards the person is experiencing a feeling, appears.
Thus, there is no direct correspondence between feelings and emotions: one and the same emotion can express different feelings, and the same feeling can be expressed in different emotions.
Without externally expressing emotions, a person hides his feelings from others.
Emotions and feelings may not coincide and even contradict each other (for example, a deeply loved person can in a certain situation cause a transient emotion of displeasure and even anger).
Emotions are not always realized. Feelings, on the contrary, are very visible.
Emotions are more connected with the area of the unconscious, and the feelings are maximally represented in our minds.
Emotions are short-lived, and feelings are long and reflect a stable attitude toward any particular objects.
Feelings and emotions reflect our attitude to any event or person, with emotions – is a direct reaction to anything on the animal level, and feelings are more a product of thinking, experiences, lessons learned, etc.
The emotional response is directly related to the satisfaction of their needs and the preservation of vital functions. All of them appear spontaneously in a specific situation, and many are inherent.
For example, you experience the feeling of hunger, the stomach sends a signal to the brain. But it happens that you can not meet this need right now, so there is a negative emotional reaction, the hunger. But when you eat, your negative emotional response will disappear, and it will be replaced by another.
Sensory experiences are quite different in nature, their origin is connected with the life experience and the influence of the surrounding reality.
They occur on the basis of already formed concepts and expressed with emotion.
For example, to ensure that there was love for the country, it is necessary to master the essence of this concept, as well as to know the experiences that are generally associated with this concept.
It is obvious that the interpretation of feelings associated with the in-depth analysis and assessment of what is happening. Therefore they are also often called secondary emotions or higher, due to the formation on the basis of their more simple emotional reactions.
Recognize an emotion is quite simply, one can almost always explain why he feels a particular emotion. But if you ask why he loves someone, then at best you can only hear the inaccurate and confusing explanations without specifics.
Feelings are sustainable, and some of them can even accompany a person throughout his life. At the same time, emotions that accompany this feeling may be constantly changing.
For example, a mother loves her child, despite his bad behavior in some situations, when it is experiencing sadness, resentment, anger, and other polar emotions.
This example clearly shows that there is no direct correspondence between these concepts: every emotion can express different feelings, in turn, each feeling can manifest different emotions.
Emotions can be recognized quite simply, they are expressed in gestures, facial expressions, intonation and tone of voice, as well as conversation style.
Feelings are usually easier to express with the usual phrases: “I love him”, “I’m afraid.” A person cannot be a consciously emotional response, thus hiding from other people’s feelings.
But not every one of us is able to control the emotions, which are manifested through nonverbal “channels” and state noticeable to others.
In the course of the social development of people, nonverbal manifestations are generalized and may all express a specific sensory experience.
By learning to recognize the non-verbal signals in communication, everyone is able to determine not only the specific emotions of the interlocutor, and often complex feelings.
But we should not forget that the feelings of each person can be expressed through a variety of emotions, often very contradictory.
Also, most of the feelings exist in order to keep the person in the submission to certain social norms or influence.
Emotions are more primitive, it is not limited to human, but also animals and expresses its attitude to the satisfaction of the purely physiological needs.
Feelings have evolved on the basis of the interaction of emotions with the intellect in the process of formation of social relationships and are peculiar only to people.
“Dissociation” thoughts and feelings appear with age. In early childhood, thought and feeling are still inseparable. Their isolation is associated with the development of speech and consciousness.
It happens that a very distant time the memory can again revive the old feelings, and the hot flush of shame fills a person’s face, remembered his longtime shameful act. This so-called emotional memory.
It is difficult to say how many different emotional states there are but in any case, they are immeasurably greater than 70. Emotional states are characterized by high specificity.
There is, apparently, a lot of anger shades, joy, sorrow and other feelings.
The love for his older brother and the love for her younger sister are similar but not the same feeling. The first colored with admiration, pride, sometimes with envy; the second a sense of superiority, the desire to provide protection, and sometimes pity and tenderness.
It is quite another feeling the love of parents, love for children.
But to refer to all of these feelings, we use one name.
Separating feelings into positive and negative is done not on ethical grounds, but only on the basis of a pleasure or displeasure.
Usually, feelings occur in four major forms:
1. Own feelings.
2. Affect: this is a very strong sense of short-term, linked to a motor reaction (or complete immobility, numbness, stupor. It is also the motor response).
3. Passion: that is called a strong and lasting feeling.
4. Mood: that is the resultant of many feelings. This condition is characterized by a known duration, stability and serves as a background against which proceed all the other elements of mental activity.
Understanding the causes of your own feelings is the basic topic upon which further education in emotional literacy will be built. Moreover, without this skill, we will not be able to advance in the development of our own emotional intelligence.
The benefits of positive emotions are understandable to all but few people can explain what exactly is the use of positive emotions.
Initially, emotions have been “designed” by nature to adapt to reality. Experiencing positive emotions in certain circumstances, we are consolidating in memory desired behaviors, those that bring satisfaction, a sense of well-being, success, confidence in the world, etc.
Joy pushes the game, the interest – to the study, satisfaction – to the delight and love again and again generates all of these motivations.
In this case, the advantage of positive emotions is that they allow you to better understand the world and ourselves, giving us creative attitude to life, to show curiosity and to communicate more with people. Positive emotions create our personal resources.
Although the emotions themselves are short-lived, they can have a lasting impact on us sometime after that, as we have experienced.
In moments of crisis or failure, we can think back to times past when we were happy and receive a portion of positive emotions and positive experience for the solution of the current troubles, and thereby show how to act effectively, and are supported in the difficult times of life.
What are the benefits of negative emotions?
Negative emotions are motivated to solve immediate problems, to change something that does not suit us.
_ Guilt encourages cooperation.
_ Anger motivates the search for justice when we were cheated or acted dishonestly with us. In a state of anger, we can defend our principles, even if the immediate benefit of this is negligible.
_ Grief signals loss, fear – about the threat and anger warns of inappropriate action.
Negative emotions bring us important information, so sometimes they even surpass the positive emotions utility.
Negative emotions help us learn. We constantly evaluate the situation in which find ourselves. Negative emotions show that we have a problem, and often make us think, to find a solution to the problem.
Due to negative emotions, we accumulate information of interest to us and something we change in our approach to problem-solving.
Feelings and emotions reflect our attitude to any event or person, with emotions – is a direct reaction to anything on the animal level, and feelings – more a product of thinking, experiences, lessons learned, etc.
The emotions give us feedback on what is happening and allow us to understand that we are doing something right and appropriate, and what is wrong and should be done differently.
Emotions give us information about the pressing needs and realizing them.
Calling them “by their name,” giving ownself the right to any emotion, we understand what is happening in reality.
Realizing the emotions, we can also understand;
– Why these emotions?
– When do we feel them?
– Why specifically these ones?
– Whether they are legitimate and justified?
It is better to know ourselves, to learn about our needs and priorities, therefore, as much as possible to satisfy them.
The negative emotions are not recognized and ignored, they do not disappear on their own, especially those that are tested permanently.
The impacts of negative emotions on the health and well-being have long been a proven scientific fact.
_ The main question is which emotions are the most natural, the most authentic, for a person?
_ Specifically in which emotions a person is naturally more likely to be?
_ Is the main emotional background made up of anger, fear, boredom or even out of something?
The answer (at least as a hypothesis)can come to you watching children of 1-2 age playing.
The main emotional background of a person it’s interesting and fun. For a child is interesting to live. Interestingly there is sand, shifting toys, slap the puddles, looking at pictures, flipping book, go to the zoo on the father’s shoulders. He does all that only because is interesting for him.
Interest can be cheerful and can be very calm. He is bright and can be restrained. The interest of the child is very diverse, and it is present in a child’s life permanently.
_ Beside the child feels joy. It sometimes coincides with what the child interested, but more often not.
_ Seeing mother, the child ran to her and smiles. And, perhaps, is no longer of interest, but full of joy.
_ When a child is drinking his mother’s milk, it is hardly possible to speak about the interest. A joy is just that, though not bright, quiet.
And what other the other emotions?
Anger, for example, or fear how they fit into the life of a one-two-year-old child?
Is manifested as a reaction to frustration(loss of something important). When interest or pleasure is interrupted, there is anger, fear, and other negative emotions.
If the interest is not stopping, he is switched from object to object, and never dies.
In conclusion, a person is most natural to be interested and enjoy life, and not be angry, annoyed or afraid.
It makes sense to stop and reflect on our lives.
About what happened to the natural interest and a natural joy?