Defining what a real woman is in today’s society is complex, fashion offers us lean, athletic and mostly androgynous women, but until the last century the prime example was given by the forms and sensuality was synonymous with prosperous curves and seductive.
What women in this precise moment of history are at risk of losing, however, is femininity: the ability to be healthy, alive, a natural woman and definitely not artificial.
Being female means for someone to be: seductive, have perfect fingernails and hair always tidy, take care of themselves and look a bit ‘vaporous, innocent, fragile on a pair of high heels shoes.
For others, it means: being welcoming, being a mother, being a wife, being more tolerant, simple and feeling free, strong and awake, even very wise even on a pair of tennis shoes.
This are two different ways of understanding femininity and both are based on attitudes that could be diametrically opposed, but in truth they are complementary.
Being feminine is the coveted desire of many women.
But what exactly does that mean?
The only truth, however, is that femininity is something that comes from within and should not be linked to the stereotype of women: you can be feminine by valuing your body, but even a pregnant woman can be the fifth essence of femininity as it embodies the maximum gender value.
Finally, being feminine means to feel good about oneself, with one’s own mind and body, proud of being women and aware that it is something that emanates from our depths and is perceived externally.
Femininity, therefore, is an inner aspect that can combine gender sides often opposed to masculine ones such as sweetness, empathy, understanding, meditation, acceptance, sensitivity and altruism, but also sensuality.
Being feminine meant to be weak?
Being strong, smart an “alfa woman” means not to be feminine?
I would say the contrary. And not only me.
“A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts”
_ Nancy Rathburn
Today the woman feels the pressure of having to be perfect, without defects in order to deserve a happy life.
From every direction, the woman receives the input that convinces her that she must be improved, that she is not already quite beautiful, but that she must always do something to have the perfect image.
Fortunately, today many women have understood that a beautiful image isn’t all. That they have to not only take care of themselves but most important to find themselves, to love, respect and honor themselves.
The meaning is to stop creating an image that does not represent them but enhances what is already part of them, accepting it, improving it and learning to appreciate it.
Today’s women have the need to find out how to open their inner beauty above all.
Learning to know each other stimulates the woman to intent a different way of living, to improve the relationships with the others and rediscover her femininity.
The woman learns to listen to her body rather than ignore it. Learn to cut out time for yourself, to take care not only of its physical but above all the soul.
The woman must allow herself to be what she really is, no what she imagines herself to be, and this without measuring herself only on the basis of her aspects or in comparison with others.
Only in this way does the woman stop feeling the pressure on herself, which leads her to live the essence of someone else.
Only in this way does she learn to look after herself, to love herself in a much deeper manner than before.
Femininity is a very precious gift that makes women more sweet, kind, loving, soft and compassionate, a unique and extraordinary being.
A gift that must be nurtured and cultivated every day.
The female being has to do with a FEEL, with an essence that manifests itself and is released, because the female energy, in fact, has to do with the BEING.
Female energy is based on knowing how to be. And knowing how to, means only responding to the command of a pure and naive feeling.
On the contrary, the actions dictated by “what would be right” to avoid being ridiculed is more like a male energy because it is contaminated by the approval of your mind that always wants to understand why you do an action and impregnate it a critical sense of your self.
“Femininity is depicted as weakness, the sapping of strength, yet masculinity is so fragile that apparently, even the slightest brush with the feminine destroys it.”
― Gwen Sharp
In the conclusions…
_ It is unnecessary, more if you don’t feel it, to make yourself wear your heels to make you more feminine because your constraint is noticeable when you walk and make yourself artificial, out of tune, built. Do not force yourself to go to the hairdresser if you love keeping your hair more natural.
Taking good care of your body and appearance is important but not by stressing and violating yourself.
_ Be just what you are, and to be what you are you have first to discover it by doing an inner work on yourself, freeing yourself.
_ If the education you received in your family, at school, and from society led you to be a person you do not want to be. Then the time came to stop believing that you can be only in one way by discovering that you have different ways of being.
_ If you allow yourself to know you, discover your talents, potentialities, certainties, insecurities, wrong models of thought, you will certainly finish by rediscovering your femininity that is at the base of your authenticity.
It’s simple. Being feminine means only knowing how to BE, responding to a pure and innate feeling.
All this has a savior potter that also repercusses the male world.
“God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met.”
― Farrah Fawcett