People carry in themselves the numerous and painful experiences of the past. Uncured wounds can hamper the normal development of the person’s personality, which will manifest itself in different spheres of life since they create for the traumatized person a false image of the world and its place in it.
Feelings that accompany injuries and their consequences can be very different:
_ Resentment (“it’s not fair, it should not be, everything is against me”).
_ Anxiety and fear, which begins to manifest later as a feeling of insecurity, inadequacy, inferiority.
_ Shame and unconstructive feelings of guilt; Isolation, loss.
_ Sense of meaninglessness of life, of the world as a whole.
Awareness of trauma is a necessary, but extremely painful experience, to which one must carefully bring a person.
Often, what a person considers to be a characteristic of the character, is a manifestation of defenses against painful experiences.
This awareness requires a review and reassessment of one’s own life.
Children who are not loved become adults who can not love.
_ Pearl Buck.
Living organisms would not be able to survive for a long time without their innate ability to cure their wounds and diseases.
Because of fear, we deliberately and unconsciously prevent healing, blocking it.
We are not able to get rid of fear by a deliberate and intentional volitional act.
All we can do is to suppress fear in such a way as not to dread fear.
However, the consequence of this behavior is the suppression of all vital body activities, including the processes of natural and spontaneous cure.
Only by refraining from the control of the ego can we achieve that the human body can fully maintain its vitality and energy, its natural health and passion.
Many kinds of psychotherapy, directly or indirectly, are just doing so that a person develops in himself all possible fullness of his own life, overcomes the barriers and stereotypes laid down in the past.
For example, body-oriented psychotherapy, through a deep immersion in one’s body, helps to find the wrong attitudes and subconscious scenarios that prevent living in the present.
Parental love. The best gift that we can make to a child is not so much to love him as to teach him to love himself.
_ Jacques Salome.
The child most needs love just when he least deserves it. A child who is under the pressure of fear is hypocritical and his protest grows out of bitterness into malice.
At the same time, his self-esteem is forever lost.
A child who suffers fewer insults grows up a person more conscious of his dignity.
The child becomes happy as soon as he feels to himself a sincere and disinterested love.
Love for children is a specific activity to strengthen the personal beginning of each child, the development of his abilities to self-determination and self-realization, the independent development of a system of values and relationships.
Parents awareness are important because children are brought up by that family life, which is formed intentionally or unintentionally.
The life of the family is so strong that its impressions are constant, ordinary, that it acts imperceptibly, strengthens or poisons the human spirit, like the air that we are alive.
The child is the mirror of the family; As in a drop of water the sun reflects, so the children reflect the moral purity of the mother and father.
Parental love is an unconditional affirmation of the life of the child and his needs.
But one important addition must be made here.
_ The affirmation of a child’s life has two aspects: one is care and responsibility, absolutely necessary to preserve the child’s life and its growth.
_ Another aspect goes beyond the simple preservation of life. This is an attitude that inspires a child with a love of life that makes him feel that it is good to be alive, to live well on this earth!
The maternal love of life is as contagious as her anxiety and both have a profound impact on the personality of the child as a whole.
Maternal love for a growing child, is a love that does not want anything for itself, is perhaps the most difficult form of love and not for all achievable.
Also the most deceptive because of the ease with which a mother can love her baby.
But precisely because it’s difficulty, a woman can become a truly loving mother only if she is capable of loving at all, If she is capable of loving her husband, other children, strangers, all people.
A woman who is not able to love in this sense can be a tender mother while the child is small, but she cannot be a loving mother whose task is to be ready to continue to love him even after the transfer or separation of the child.
Love plays a huge educational role, having an ennobling influence on the formation of personality, makes the person more rich, meaningful.
For a child, especially a small child, the parents are the whole world. The threat to be rejected by parents or to lose parental love is for a small child something dangerous, literally for his very life.
Therefore, for their own survival, the child is forced to accept the interaction models that parents offer.
He does not know other models and does not even know about their existence.
The child living in fear is tense, anxious and clamped.
Such a state is painful for him, and the child, in order not to experience pain or fear, will strive to become insensitive.
The “deadening” of the body with the help of muscle tension excludes pain and fear, because “dangerous” impulses are, as it were, imprisoned.
Thus, survival begins to seem guaranteed, but for such an individual, suppression of feelings becomes an authentic way of life.
Pleasure is subordinate to Survival, and the ego, which initially served the body in its desire to have fun, now in the interest of security, exercises control over the body.
Between the ego and the body, a gap is formed, which is controlled by a strip of muscular tension at the base of the skull, tearing the energy connection between the head and the body – in other words, between thinking and feeling.