Sometimes we try to show the world that we are impeccable in the hope that we are always appreciated and accepted by everyone. But the truth is that we cannot please everyone and we should not even try.
“When we turn around & come face to face with our destiny, we discover that words (spoken) are not enough. I know so many people who are brilliant speakers but are quite incapable of practising what they preach. It’s one thing to describe a situation & quite another to experience it.
I realised a long time ago that a warrior in search of his dream must take his inspiration from what he actually does & not from what he imagines himself doing.”
―Paulo Coelho, Aleph
The beauty of each of us is also in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections.
Want to know what are the three reasons to stop wanting to please everyone?
We begin by saying that when we can embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, we can live better and really like more to others in general.
On the other hand, when we strive to be the person who wants others, we no longer can have real relationships, neither true happiness nor our true success.
So, this alone should be enough to make you understand that it is not worth continuing on this path and that doing everything to please the whole world will not increase your success and your happiness.
No need to put on a mask. There’s no need to pretend you’re someone you’re not. You have nothing to prove to anyone, because …
1. Valuable people just want you to be yourself.
In the long run, it is better to be hated for what you are, rather than loved for what you are not.
In reality, the only relationships that work well, in the long run, are those that make you a better person, without you feeling the need to turn yourself into a different person just to please others.
Showing another face will prevent you from being loved more than once and will keep you from overcoming the person you are and therefore from getting better over time.
So you’ll end up ignoring the comparisons and expectations that come knocking on your door, and you will not see what’s good about life and the people around you.
Instead, start showing things to yourself and not others. The right people for you will love you just because you do this, and they will appreciate all the things about you from which the wrong people are intimidated.
Try to be patient, keep on being yourself, and soon the right and true people will come to you.
2. Nobody really knows what is best for you.
Everyone can tell you what they want, but they can not know what you need better than you! Do not miss out, because of your search for acceptance by others.
Walk your way with confidence in yourself and in what you think.
Do not expect others to fully understand your journey because they are not in your place. You will always have to take the right measures for you, which you think are right for you.
No one else walks in your shoes.
Let others take you for what you are. Communicate your truth and be true to yourself. These are qualities much appreciated by true people.
They want a person who knows how to decide for himself, who is ambitious and who believes in his own ideas.
3. YOU are the only person who can change your life.
In every situation where you found yourself, both positive and negative, the only driver was you. Certainly, someone has been able to help you.
But you created your life and only you can change it and improve it.
But it is not wanting to please others that you will succeed … but it is pleasing to yourself!
You are able to make choices to change your every situation, or to change your way of thinking.
Do not let the opinions of others interfere with this prevailing reality in which you are the protagonist.
In life, you will always find yourself in front of people who will try to measure your value based on what you have, rather than what you are.
The wrong attitude is theirs, and you will not have to be influenced by what they want.
How can you improve yourself to please you more?
The first thing to do is to definitely try to reach your life goals and do the activities that make you feel alive.
What matters is having the strength of character, an honest heart, and a sense of self-worth. All these are features that will not only do you good and make you feel fulfilled, they are also elements will allow you to make you love.
Life is not a race, you have nothing to prove to others.
Everyone wants to reach the top of the mountain before the others, but few think to get to the top of their goals to please themselves.
Those who have understood this, live much better and have the right people next to them.
Furthermore, it must also be said that every path to all great things passes through failure. So you will fall at least once before you get to your success.
The same is true with all that happens in life before you get to the right one, you will have many others experiences that will go wrong because they will not be what you really want.
So what is the sense of changing to please all these people who will pass into your life if eventually, you can get everything you want simply by being yourself and pleasing to yourself?
Excellent question, right? You know the answer. It’s inside of you.
Some people will always be able to tell you what you did wrong, but before listening to them you will have to see if they can admit their own mistakes and if they love you for who you are.
Otherwise, do not be one of them. Continue your evolution in progress to please yourself and feel fulfilled. Only then would you want to please all the people that you want to enjoy.
What does it mean to be real?
To be real, one must learn to express oneself fully.
It seems obvious? It is not at all.
It means to fully express yourself. It means overcoming your fears. It means to express one’s own person freely and fully.
And to “express yourself” I do not mean that if you are afraid and you block yourself then you are yourself, indeed. Being yourself means to release yourself from the fears that limit you.
Does it seem easy?
Try to approach a situation even if you are afraid to do so, or try to say something that you really think when you risk being seen badly by everyone.
The fact is this: you are not your fears, indeed fears limit the possibility of expressing your true identity in complete freedom and without conditions.
It means to know oneself In order to express oneself. It is necessary to know oneself first, then to do an introspective work.
It is necessary to understand what leads us to make certain choices, how come we have certain reactions to certain events, understand and accept our person in every form, even in the things we least like and begin to become aware of themselves and then work on them.
You will be able to express yourself, and you will feel damn better, once you have overcome your fears. It means not hiding.
There are situations in which to show yourself for what you really are damn difficult.
It may also be that for fear of the judgment of others you do not show yourself for what you are and try to behave in order to conform to the thinking of others.
We are often afraid to show ourselves for what we really are, it is easier for us to lie, pretend or play a part.
We are afraid of not being accepted, we prefer instead to resort to trickery to influence the opinion that others have about us.
It is essential to understand that learning to be real is a process in progress, it is a journey that lasts a lifetime.
Every single person on this planet often feels a fear of trials to overcome.
All have challenges to overcome, weaknesses or fears to be faced, all.
“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’
‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.
‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams Bianco,