The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
What is fear?
Fear is an internal state of a person, which is caused by an alleged or really threatening disaster. Psychology views fear as an emotional process that has a negative coloring.
According to the theory of differential emotions of American psychologist Caroll Izard, fear refers to basic emotions, in other words, it is congenital – its physiological component, mimic manifestations and specific subjective experiences are genetically conditioned.
It is fear that prompts a person to avoid danger, adjust their behavior in a certain way and perform various actions that, in his opinion, can protect him.
Each person has his own fears: from the banal fear of insects or mice to the fear of poverty and death. There are even phobias – steady irrational fears of anything.
In simple words, how many people, so many fears. But there are such fears, which are inherent in many people. People that are afraid of the same thing.
Fear is a kind of innate immunity that allows a person to bypass some of the main dangers that lie in wait for him in life, gene memory, inoculation from silly acts.
– Why is the newborn baby afraid of loud sounds?
– Why a child that never fell is getting frightened when he is launched up?
– Why are we afraid of the unknown?
– Where did the fear of closed space or loss of a loved one come from?
– Why does everyone know that in the dark it can be dangerous?
The answer is simple: our ancestors gave us this knowledge. They are the key to survival, and only thanks to this knowledge homo sapiens still live on planet Earth.
The only thing that balances the fears of people for their lives, health and does not allow to stop progress is the same innate curiosity: “And yet, what is there in the dark?”
However, like any other quality and everything in the world is good in moderation … Fear must keep itself within certain limits.
Fearlessness – Is it good to be fearless?
People who have been in combat or in other critical situations never claim that they did not experience fear. On the contrary, they felt it, analyzed it and overcame it.
That is, everyone can fell fear, the important is to be able to accept and try to manage it.
For the child, the family becomes a kind of psychodrama, where love and hatred, jealousy and dependence, fear and longing mingle.
Ambivalence (contradictory impressions from one object) reaches its peak. Parents who love and protect him can also attack him, leave, die, lose patience, scold, try to control, etc.
Age-related fears, ideally, should take place after a certain time, but in emotionally sensitive children they can be transformed and fixed. The reaction of the parent to fear should be calm-empathic.
The parents have to try to discuss with the child his fears, ask him to describe feelings and fear itself. The more a child talks about fear, the better – the more he speaks, the less he fears.
However, 90% of all fears of children are generated by the family and are steadfastly supported by it.
The main thing that parents need to do in such cases is to eliminate the main reasons for increasing the overall anxiety of the child.
To do this, carefully look at the child, and to yourself, to the whole situation in the family as a whole.
It is necessary to look for these fears into parents, in themselves, and work with them. The eliminated fears in parents, in children, are screened out automatically.
Fear is one of the most real feelings, it is very difficult to deceive oneself about (in contrast to other feelings, especially in relation to one or another person).
If he really is, it’s too obvious.
Here is a list of only some variants of fears; fear of spiders and snakes, fear of darkness, fear of enclosed spaces, fear of aggression, fear of mental illnesses, fear of crime, fear of superiors, fear of changes in personal life, fear of old age, fear of poverty, fear of examination, fear of death, fear of heights, fear of concrete events in the future, fear of contracting an incurable disease, fear of punishment, fear of being ridiculed and humiliated, fear of losing the location of significant persons, sexual fears, fear of public speaking, fear of one’s own thoughts.
The top 10 fears of people:
10. Fear of being poisoned
This fear is independent and often does not correlate with other phobias at all. And all because they suffer, as a rule, people with an intuitive type of thinking. And according to different estimates, no more than 5% of the world’s population had it.
Either way, this fear is often unconscious and manifests itself, according to all observations only in people with a high level of intuitive thinking.
Verminophobia is the fear of various microorganisms and bacteria.
Surely you have met or heard in your life about people who wash their hands 68 times a day, wash floors 20-30 times, cannot touch many innocuous objects and all because they are afraid of catching some “dangerous” virus and with it an infection.
People with vermiphobia are almost always intellectuals and occupy good posts, for example, they are inventors, economists, lawyers.
The fear of bacteria can develop into an obsessive-impulsive disorder, and make a man his slave for life.
8. Fear of being a coward.
Fear of being a cowardly person is inherent specifically to men with hypertrophied sense of responsibility for others. Quite often among them, there are very charismatic, strong and serious people, managers and entrepreneurs.
But such a fear is not alien to the beautiful half of humanity. Girls and women, for whom there is a great responsibility, also sometimes are afraid to appear or be cowards.
However, it is this phobia that often helps people to keep themselves focused, to remain strong and persistent.
7. Strange fears
To the category of strange (and not so) fears include fear of airplanes, snakes, cockroaches, spiders, rats, mirrors, demons, monsters, psychotherapists, heels, TV off, etc.
At first glance, these fears really do not have any connection with each other. However, the root of these fears is one – the underdevelopment of the figurative type of thinking among those who possess an innate figurative intelligence.
What does it mean?
The thing is that people with congenital imaginative thinking have such fears and phobias. These, so-called sensual natures: actors, artists, nurses, models, etc.
In general, all those who think in images and emotions.
Such people have fear because they do not fill themselves with bright emotions. The nervous system, as it were, says to them:
“If you do not fill others or yourself with empathy and do not experience any emotions, then you will feel fear …”
And since fear is the strongest emotion, it is this emotion that arises with all sorts of fantasies and even bodily sensations.
Here, the rich imagination of people with imaginative intelligence does its job.
6. Fear of going insane
Quite a specific fear and stable, but it is experienced only by those who think in abstract terms. Often these are people who try to learn the spiritual world, to know the universe, to study religions, philosophy, physics.
They are people capable of giving birth to a brilliant idea, even if it seems a little crazy.
Many poets, classical and rock musicians were afraid of madness, but at the same time, they tried to explore themselves and the universe through various drugs and psychedelics etc.
In general, this fear is peculiar and common to only people with abstract intelligence.
5. Fear of intimacy
Fear, which occurs not only in teenagers, but also in fully adult; older men, and sometimes women.
Surprisingly, people who have this fear have an increased libido compared to all others.
However, despite this, there is also a complex sexuality due to an unsuccessful first experience or deep childhood insults and suppressed emotions.
As for intimacy, they feel awkward, clammy and fear of something new, of failure or are afraid to be ridiculed.
Women are also afraid of being injured or betrayed, offended.
4. Fear of Old Age
Quite rare fear in young, and often occurs in middle-aged women, as well as in insolvent men who are already over 50.
With every year the fear of such women only grows. They are afraid of losing their femininity and beauty.
And the center of fear lays not just the loss of the main female attributes of power, but what would follow it; there would be fewer gifts, less care, less attention not only from men but also from society as a whole.
In men, the fear of old age was mirrored with being afraid of being unrealized, like a man and unable to reproduce, as they say. In other words, the fear of impotence.
And this fear is quite understandable, because at the biological level the task of the woman is the birth and upbringing of children, and the task of the man is the reproduction, of the offspring and providing the family with food and safety.
3. Sociopathy (fear of public speaking, agoraphobia (open spaces))
In general, this fear is known to most people on the planet. Anyway, we all are afraid to show our feelings and emotions in different degrees in front of others.
However, for some, such fear becomes obtrusive and is transformed into a phobia. And they suffer from these fears, most people with figurative and systemic types of thinking.
A person is born as innate creative natures, for which to be in the center of attention is the right thing, but only in consequence of certain features of perception does this fear of the scene or open spaces appear, then for the latter, it is rather the fear of being incompetent, ridiculous, stupid, etc.
Anyway, this fear manifests itself in those who are potentially able to receive real pleasure from public appearances and open manifestation of their feelings and emotions.
2. Fear of death (claustrophobia, acrophobia, hematophobia, etc.)
Theoretically, this fear should take first place in our rating, but in fact, the fear of death, although it is partly a basic fear, still it is not a leader, but only a satellite leader now.
So, who is more likely than others to experience the fear of death in an obsessive form?
If you thought that these are anxious-hypochondriac people with a figurative type of thinking, then you are on the right way. It is these comrades who are the main bearers of the fear of death and other phobias with him: fear of closed spaces, fear of blood, fear of heights, fear of the dead, fear of pain, fear of rape and others.
1. The Fear of Solitude … the leader of our rating of fears.
Yes, yes, it is it who does not give rest to the absolute majority of people on Earth. The most surprising is that even people suffering from autism, which is characterized by complete seclusion and antisocial behavior, can at heart feel a fear of total loneliness.
At the heart of this fear lies the fact that every person wants to be happy. But since we are originally “social animals”, then we can feel happy only being and realizing in society.
To be misunderstood, unrecognized, abandoned, rejected – this reality scares rather than allows you to enjoy. Therefore, the unconscious desire of a person to establish positive connections between other people is the way to the same happiness that each of us wants to receive.
And if we fully realize ourselves in society, by giving, not only receiving, such as creating something not only for ourselves but for others.
In this case, we are able not only to get rid of most of our acquired fears, but really get pleasure from the fact that each of us is part of a single whole, where there is no place for fears and phobias, but there is a complete understanding of oneself and others.
_ Marcus Aurelius