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Falling in love.

Love is an emotion in action. You can learn how to feel and cultivate your love… First, learn and know the different situations of love. Learn how to recognize them when you are feeling them. Then you go and share your love with others.

A love between 2 people can only begin if the interaction is based on truth, trust, and respect. That is something you start giving.
This is essential to growing a healthy mutual love between 2 individuals. If the other person gives you what you give, then you start feeling love for each other and it can grow…

It is not difficult to understand love, once you know how love works.

Sometimes falling in love – it’s a step back, regression.
The experience of unity with a loved one is an echo of the time when, as a baby, we were one with the mother.
In the process of merging, we are again experiencing a sense of omnipotence, which we had to renounce at the time of parting with childhood.

Everything seems possible! Uniting with the beloved (beloved), we feel able to overcome any obstacles.
We believe that the power of our love will cause hostile forces to bend, yield, disappear in the darkness. All problems will be solved. The future is extremely bright.

The unreality of these feelings – when we are in love – is exactly the same nature as the unreality of the feelings of a two-year-old child with unlimited power over the family and the whole world.

And as reality invades the royal fantasies of the two-year-old lord, it also invades the ghostly unity of the couple in love.


Sooner or later, under the onslaught of daily problems, each personality will declare itself: He wants sex, she does not. She wants to go to the movies, he does not like it. He wants to keep money in the bank, she prefers a dishwasher. She would talk about her work, he – about his. She does not like his friends, he does not tolerate her friends.

And each of them in the depths of the soul begins to grasp with pain, that they do not belong to their beloved ones, that they have and will continue to have his desires, tastes, prejudices, and habits, different from his own.

One by one, gradually or quickly, the boundaries of the ego are restored.
Gradually or quickly these two understand that they have ceased to love each other. And again they are two separate individuals.

And then begins either the destruction of all the connecting threads or the long work of true love.

Falling in love is not the result of a volitional act, a conscious choice. Regardless of how open we are to this experience and how much we yearn for it, it may well pass us by.

Conversely, we can find ourselves in this state at a time when we did not seek it, when it is undesirable and inappropriate.
To fall in love with a person with whom we obviously have little in common is as likely as with a person closer and corresponding to our character.

We may not be of the high opinion of the object of our passion, but at the same time, it happens that we just cannot fall in love with a person whom we deeply respect and with whom close relations would be preferable in all senses.

This does not mean that the state of love is not subject to discipline.
However, the pain and suffering caused by discipline are terrible.
Discipline and will can only control the situation; they can not create it. We can choose how to respond to the state of falling in love, but we can not choose this state itself.

Falling in love is not an extension of our borders and limits; this is only a partial and temporary destruction of them.
Expansion of the limits of personality is impossible without effort – falling in love does not require effort.


Lazy and undisciplined is a fall in love and not often is vigorous and purposeful. After an invaluable moment of falling in love passes and the boundaries of the personality are restored, this person, perhaps, will get rid of illusions, but there will be no expansion of borders.

If the boundaries expand, then, as a rule, forever. True love is an experience of incessant self-expansion. Fall in love does not possess this property.

Falling in love have little to do with conscious, purposeful spiritual development. If we are aware of any goal, when we fall in love, it is only the desire to end our loneliness and, perhaps, the hope to consolidate this victory by marriage.

Of course, we have no spiritual development in our minds. And in fact, after we fell in love – and have not yet stopped loving – we feel that we have reached the summit and there is neither the opportunity nor the need to move higher.
We do not feel any need for development, we are quite satisfied with what is.

Our spirit will rest in peace. We do not see any desire for spiritual development on the part of our beloved (beloved). On the contrary, we perceive him (her) as a perfect being, and if we notice some shortcomings, we regard them as small quirks and cute eccentricities, as some additional charm, a seasoning for relationships.

The answer to the question “am I really in love? ..the real love.” doesn’t become clear to many, until they have married and unmarried Mr. or Mrs. Wrong a few times.

But when it comes to making those commitment decisions, don’t we need to know?

People need to distinguish when they are in love, and when they are just, for example, in lust, or in some fantasy or in love with the love, etc.


So, how do we know to distinguish some of the things that we can get mixed up with love – the real thing?

– Love and fall in-love: Falling in love is an unconscious act.
It, more or less, happens to us – meaning that it is not something that can be contrived.

When we fall in love we generally want to be with the person with whom we are in love as often as possible.
We experience heightened feelings of happiness in their presence unless, of course, they don’t feel the same way, and then it might be heightened feelings of misery and longing.

When the love is returned we experience feelings of bliss and renewed energy and creativity. We experience intense feelings of longing for the presence, touch, approval and reciprocal feelings from the other person.

Being in love is different from just loving someone.
Loving someone and wanting the best for him and enjoying their company.

Is a feeling that is much less intense than those of being in love.
Being in love will add that extra heightened sense of well-being that brings us to our knees before its power.



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